http://northtonight.grampiantv.co.uk..._1&newsid=6921

Originally Posted by :
Ministers have announced plans to clampdown on the sale of knives in Scotland. In a bid to tackle the country's violent weapon culture, the Executive want to restrict the sale of non-domestic knives and possibly ban the sale of swords.

You can ban stuff untill the cows come home. The knife isn't what causes the violence, the people are. They will either get illegal knifes or use something else.

How about looking at the reasons why people feel the need to stab each other and carry knifes? Also, make the punishment for misuse of knifes severe enough, to make them think twice about doing it.
[Rep]

Looks INTO phpbb_crystal ball...

Originally Posted by :
Ministers have announced plans to clampdown on the sale of screwdrivers in Scotland. In a bid to tackle the country's violent weapon culture, the Executive want to restrict the sale of non-professional screwdrivers and possibly ban the sale of Dremels.

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Looks INTO phpbb_non-Mac version of crystal ball, that can see further INTO phpbb_the future.

Originally Posted by :
Ministers have announced that all scotsman must have a chip, which will automaticaly knock them out if they start getting angry.

"If you don't get angry you dont get knocked out" said EU commissioner for the region formally known as Scotland. "Of course, MEP's are exempt, and the few cases where people will die due to them driving at the time will be worth it"

EDS will be taking care of the systems used for this project.
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Well if EDS run it, we'd probably end up with non-angry scots all dying when they switch it on.

Of course, if it does only kill the non-angry ones then not many people will notice, so few will die (joke).
[Rep]

Originally Posted by :
Following on from the introduction of 'part P' to the electrical wiring regulations requiring that all installations be carried out by a competent person, the government today announced the extension of the 'competent person' principle to all household tasks.

In the kitchen, any food preparation beyond simple can opening / reheating / microwaving will now require certification of the food preparer, or inspection of the finished meal by an approved person, in a bid to avoid the prevalence of days off sick due to to stomach upsets.

For other household tasks, mainly those involved with DIY, the principle of competence is maintained in order to avoid the thousands of injuries each year caused by incompetent shelf erection.

But in a shock twist, the principle of competence has been extended to s**. A spokesperson said that this act needed regulation, as currently the s** act is unfair on women, who usually never come first. As an interim measure, the sex act can be observed by a nominated certified person, to ensure parity of o****m is maintained and to ensure that health and safety risks are avoided, given the number of days off due to bad backs.

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Originally Posted by mkpdavies:
Looks INTO phpbb_non-Mac version of crystal ball, that can see further INTO phpbb_the future.

You sure that that's the future and not just Micro$oft's marketing department trying to talk themselves INTO phpbb_a job?

"Windows For Scotsmen 2020"?

:-)
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